Don’t ask WHY. Ask, “What makes it so?”

I have spent so much time asking WHY people make the choices THEY make, and why why why why things happen the way they do.

This can actually be very toxic thinking.

When we ask “why” someone does something they do, we are probably trying to control the situation, or change the person to make them do it in the way we want them to do it.

I was super struggling with this. I came to the idea, well, I ask why because knowing what the core focus of something is helps me figure it out. It’s part of my natural way to think.

I think instead if I ask “what makes it so?” I can work to understand the action vs. the emotion behind another person’s choices. Because my feelings are my responsibility-not anyone else’s. And their feelings are theirs. I can do thing that I know others love, and things that make others feel good-but ultimately if they actually feel good, it’s up to them. And me feeling good is up to ME.

Phew.

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