Oh wow. What now?
I honestly am at a confusing little moment in time for me. I’ve spent the last two years just GOING and GOING and GOING. And now-it’s done. There is nothing pressing, no timelines on the house, no urgent things to do.
My body has taken that on a bit and I’ve gotten up early like usual and then had to go back to sleep and take a nap a few hours later. I dreamt of falling asleep in class. Of taking long walks and not knowing where I was going.
I’m just trying to soak in the moment of nothing. Of just having absolutely nothing I have to do right now.
That’s kinda hard.
There are tasks, always, and things to keep up with. But when you live under extreme deadlines and stress, in a life that feels like a pressure cooker, you get used to that pressure and it becomes normal. It doesn’t mean it’s part of your nature, it just means it’s part of your normal.
I serve a sit-down dinner tonight, so I’ll be right back in the pressure cooker soon enough. And next weekend I work Friday night, two gigs Saturday, and one on Sunday. I’ll be busy as all get out.
Yesterday I was taking stock of how money is coming in in all these little and large and tangible ways lately.
Our house appraised for 325K, which gives us a TON of equity. I got a great side hustle gig painting the picket fence of a gorgeous house in Albany that was built in the 1870s (great pay) and (wow at the incredible house!). I have a bartending/serving job that couldn’t fit me better and when I left work last Saturday I had a good amount of cash in my pocket. I got approved to promote and list my CYOGA class on Air BnB, which is AMAZING and I’m so excited about it. My first Beta class was Wednesday and it was beautiful. Our house refi will have some cash out to pay off much of my debt taken on to buy and remodel said house. I’m taking a class this summer that has a stipend.
I decided I had enough fortune to buy myself a new pair of Birkenstock sandals and a Goodwill pair of high-end mens black soft sole shoes for work. Both are very cozy.
So yes, I’m appreciating. I’m sitting with the fortune and knowing I need to keep going. But I can pause and reflect and appreciate and go-WOW. THANKS.
I can rest right now.
(yes, Jen, you can. Keep sitting.)
And in a few hours I can go, go, go again.