When I was in elementary school, my friend Tina and I had a “band” that we called Chapter 2. The band consisted of me and Tina and our singing voices. We spent more time making up what our logo would look like (It was approximately 1983) and what our image would be than the actual mechanics of our band.
Don’t get me wrong, we could sing. We can still sing. I can say with very big confidence that I have a classically trained voice. I took voice lessons for years before and during college. I am very out of practice an my voice shows it. But I know what I”m doing. I don’t even compare to my daughter’s musical training. Her understanding of theory and musicology far exceeds mine. She can look at a piece of written music and know exactly what it says, it’s her second language.
So back to me and Tina. We could sing, had a “band” called Chapter 2 that sang deep angsty songs about relationships (we were 12 and 13) and we practiced on our occasional sleepovers. We intended to do a lot with our talents. Tina is a surgical nurse for the Veteran’s hospital and I teach kindergarten. We didn’t get rich as singers and travel the world on our fame and fortune as musicians. But we’re happy.
That’s about where I am right now. I’m in chapter 2 in many ways. I am in a new phase of my life. I am in a new(er) relationship. I can’t say to Tom “10 years ago, remember when…” because he lived with someone else and made different stories. That sometimes makes me sad, that we don’t have those connections.
But we have each other. We have the connection of our 2 1/2 years together. We have the excessive challenge of building two homes in two years. And now we’re in the chapter 2 of our new life. We just turned this page. We have no idea what’s going happen, where God is going to take us, what we are meant to do. We are just here, in the now, trying to figure it out.
We will struggle. I can be so grumpy and judgmental when faced with uncertainty. I like to make things BE WHAT I WANT. I struggle with faith and patience. And I really struggle with grace. Today in church our pastor talked about grace, how it is ours from God with no expectations but belief. And he said to put it up as a reminder. Tom whispered, “Like a tattoo on your arm…” and I smiled. I have grace with me every day, whether I remember it or not. No, it doesn’t need to be tattooed on you to remember. But it sure helps.