BUILD: I love working with my new Kindergarten team member. I love that she wants to know things, that we can listen to each other, that we share ideas.
I don’t feel any sense of weirdness at all with her, and that’s awesome. I truly hope she enjoys working with me as much as I enjoy working with her.
She also has a Totoro tattoo on her arm with him holding the umbrella. It makes me want to hug her.
I have remodeled my classroom a lot. Mostly this has been in the organization of the space and a final purposeful purge. I’ve purged a lot over the years-but this year I even purged items that I was storing in OTHER rooms. I had probably 500 books for intermediate-6th grade that had been shared with the upper level teachers for the past 4 years. This year I said, “they are yours. Keep. Give away. Share. Donate.” I kept my childhood Judy Blume “Are You There God, it’s Me, Margaret,” and “Tiger Eyes.” If you knew me in the mid-1980’s you know I was basically ALWAYS reading novels about girls figuring out life. Figuring out their bodies, figuring out love relationships, figuring out their identities and emotions. My next youngest sister was reading classics and preparing for college. I was trying to figure out who I am.
I went to get my star chart read in March. I told her about how I’d separated from my children’s father in 2015, and how I was still working with that energy. 26 years. She said, “well, that’s a lot of structure. Now your chart is inviting you to try a new way.”
I have no idea what to do with this information. Everything she told me was that my life is a path of introspection and figuring my internal emotional compass out. That I have to look inward instead of outward.
So that is the next part.
TEAR DOWN: I have to build some new archetypes for myself. Who am I really? What do I stand for? What are my boundaries? What do I need?
I actually don’t know.
So that’s where I am today. I don’t know my inner me very well, and apparently that’s my central life theme.
I know that I love children. I love helping them grow and learn and be their best. I know that that place with young people is where all of the good things in my life are. So I guess I start there.