Thankful Thursday: Perspective and Doing it Scared

I graduated from high school 30 years ago in June, 2019. It seems like an impossible idea and at the same time, totally plausible. Of COURSE it’s been 3 decades. I’ve learned and lived a lot in this time. I’ve earned my wrinkles and my cellulite. I fought hard for everything in my life.

At the same time, I’m still filled with the doubt of a teenager. I sometimes wonder when the real grownups are going to arrive. I remember the quote that Princess Mia (played by Anne Hathaway) says in the Princess Diaries says when she realizes that she’s next in line to be Queen

I’m still waiting for real body parts to arrive. I can’t be your Queen.

I know how it feels, Mia. It’s a tough job, being asked to show up. It’s really tough.

In one respect, I have decades of perspective and experience. But because it is just my life I don’t think of it as any big thing. It’s just what I did. My experiences are what I did out of necessity, egotism, greed, need, wrath, love, joy, fear, anger, expectation, confusion, idiocy, joy, desperation. I didn’t start to actually think before I acted, like my mom, dad, and teachers told me to my entire childhood, until I was about…35-40. I am not kidding. I mean, sure. I might have had some highlights. I was able to parent children to adulthood and get jobs that paid me money and provided health insurance. But I still was so embarrassed after staff meetings for being inarticulate and well, impulsive. To this day.

Life is so hard.

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It is in the impulsive vein that I reflect on the events that led to me actually submitting a proposal to present at a conference for school administrators by myself and on a very complicated topic. I proposed a workshop that is so outside the norm of anything that is ever in conferences for administrators and teachers, that after 2 months with no word, I assumed I wasn’t selected because it was just too-well, new agey and woo-woo.

I was wrong. Today I got an email from the conference administrators that my proposal was accepted and that they were delighted to have me.

Oh my.

But I felt much calmer when I read that one of the Keynote speakers, Jessica Cabeen,  is possibly one of my soul mates. She’s delivering her keynote speech titled “Dream Big-Live Colorfully-Lead Boldly: Developing Your Best Self.” Thank goodness! Other breakout sessions have a flair for teacher self-care and reflection, and that makes me feel much better.

Maybe this is going to be okay. I have to print business cards. Will I say my business is They Were Born Dragons? Do people get this? Oh my.

Here’s some facts about the conference on November 7-9 in Eugene, Oregon. It’s an Early Learning focus, K-3, and it’s for administrators, but teachers do go as well. Last year I presented with my principal on school change at CLES over the last 5 years. She had just won Administrator of the Year from COSA and she did most of the talking.

Breakout Sessions

COSA Early Learning conference

Right now I’m going to spend some quality time with Google figuring out how to do a conference presentation. No, just kidding. I’m going to watch the most outrageous thing I love to watch over and over: What The Bleep Do we Know? It’s all about neuroscience and quantum physics.

I’m leading the breakout. I mean, if they come, I can say whatever I want as long as it’s on topic, right?

OMG this might actually be fun. Here I go, down the rabbit hole…

What the Bleep Movie

 

 

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1 thought on “Thankful Thursday: Perspective and Doing it Scared

  1. Another non grownup here, into woo-woo stuff too. I’ve started noticing that when I am just myself, ,my weird and wacky self, MY people find me and MY people appreciate me. The rest of them…eh…I don’t even think about them anymore. This had given me a huge boost of bravery for how I live my life. Its AWESOME! Best of luck in your new adventure!

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