I’ve spent several days really considering this idea of researching vs. doing. I think it’s part of my self-efficacy shortfall to continue to research other people’s interpretations instead of making my own.
I gave another presentation and realized again that no, all people do not have my same set of experiences. My connections and interpretations are unique to me and they help others. This goes goes for you, too. You have things to say and give back as service to the world that only you can do. It’s why you are here.
I’ve felt strangely very affirmed after my initial sensitivity around my latest medical appointments. I had a line of thinking in the past that led me to think I just couldn’t do things, that some things are just permanently out of my reach. Here are a few of those things I had self-identified as being unavailable to me:
- Hip hop dancing
- Playing guitar well
- Running a marathon
- Having strong abdominal muscles
- Making lots of money
This is not a complete list, but it’s the things I’ve thought about new lately. I realized with renewed clarity that I can have these things, and to get them is up to me.
Know you can do whatever you want and accomplish whatever you want, as long as you can get out of your own way.
It’s a shift, a subtle change in my mindset. I’d watched Ella’s dance performance, looked at other people’s race photos on social media posts, listened to acoustic guitar, looked at my bank balance, and felt my lumpy abdomen. Each moment I thought first “that’s not possible for me.”
Then seconds later my new mindset shift kicked in and told me that yes-it’s all just waiting for me. I just have to DECIDE IT WILL HAPPEN.
I had this whole body happiness and relief. And the grace to know that goals are on my timeline. If I don’t take up running or doing Pilates and yoga RIGHT NOW I’m not putting fitness aside forever. I felt such relief each of these moments.
I look forward to the time I decide to learn hip hop and dance in a crew. I look forward to feeling the rush of adrenaline when I finish a race of any length. I look forward to paying all my bills months ahead, and letting my money work for me. I look forward to sitting around playing guitar and writing the songs I have in my heart.
How exciting and liberating to know that I am my own best advocate. I’m also my worst critic, but it helps to realize I control these things.
Here I go-crushing it!