Thankful Thursday: Schema for days

I use the term schema a lot. It is the pedagogical term for “background knowledge.” This afternoon after work I was working on plans for my first course launch for They Were Born Dragons, and I decided to go back and read some of the most popular posts from my 10 months blogging in this space as THEY WERE BORN DRAGONS.

What you all seem to respond to is honesty. Deep and passionate honesty, from the vulnerable little girl self, willing to let you all see me and my tears. There is so much shame I am recovering from, so much I truly believe I’m not worthy of. It’s not something anyone else can fix. I have to fix myself, myself. I just have to keep doing this work and operating day by day.

I was feeling a bit like a sham, but then when I do things like go back and read what I have been writing and that a LOT of people have read it, and I realize that means there are other vulnerable souls feeling connected or more courageous because I was brave enough to say I’m a fuck up.

The top posts of all time have been talking about how the educational system is not set up to support and nurture creative souls. Things to know before your child starts Kindergarten. My personal story of being injured by the school system as a 3rd grader. My love story and eulogy to my deceased teaching partner. Deciding to live an aligned life. Noticing the stories of people in my community and writing my perspective on their stories. The selfless love of my partner, and his willingness to be my partner. Being cleansed in Mexico City by an Azteca Shaman. And reaching out to you all with honesty that my partner and I fight constantly and I’m feeling at loose ends. 

It feels so selfish to write my story sometimes. That I might appear narcissistic because I write a blog about my experience on Earth. But the entire reason I do this is because I know there are other people that are perfectly imperfect like me and writing it down helps me get it out of my throat where it feels caught and might choke me to death.

We are all the walking wounded. The hurt and crying. We are trying the best we can.

My personal playlist during this time is a chorus of powerful voices, mostly women. So much of the lyrics of these songs are about being honest with yourself. What is your truth, sweet soul? What is it that you need to say and do that will align you with your path to God?

Sara Bareillies says in BRAVE: “Your history of silence didn’t do you any good, did you think it would?

These songs are about believing in my own personal power and knowing that it is my job to make me happy, fulfilled, aligned, in tune with my highest self, close to God.

Here is my Choose Your Own Gratitude Adventure Playlist:

Sara Bareilles: Brave

Cathy Heller: Heart of a Hero

Pink: F**kin’ Perfect

Natasha Bedingfield: Strip Me

Katy Perry: Firework

Alicia Keys: Girl on Fire

Justin Timberlake (the honorary man in this mix): CAN’T STOP THE FEELING

Pink: Just Like Fire

I love you all for reading. Thank you.

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