It feels good to have people that have known you a long time. They understand you and accept you for who you are. They are the Historians of your experiences, they remind you of shared memories, they talk about the past, they remember good things with you. They have their own perspectives and thoughts about the past, and over time your perspective of those times can shift with their retellings. These are your oldest friends and close family. They are the people that hold on to you. They are the people that you can count on in crisis, because you have counted on them in crisis before. These are your Historians.
The most intense relationships seem to be the people living the now with you. They know that you had a hard day at work today, that you got a parking ticket, that your child threw a fit in the grocery store after work, that you spilled coffee all over a report/flash drive/computer and are recovering from a cold. These people know you’re doing an exercise challenge or giving up sugar this year. They know you burn the candle at both ends, they see your car in the parking lot of school/work or shuttling your child to another activity late into the night or weekend. They are with you in the now, breathing the now with you. They may or may not be the History people. Most often I have experienced that they are not. Often the Now people are part of the you that is becoming…the dreaming you, the you of unrest. The you ready to to make major changes, to set forth into a new way. They are your best friends right now, they are your people.
Forward people are the people that don’t mind if you change. They can be Historians with an open mind. They are sometimes Now people that are making changes themselves. Forward people accept that you are changing, that you are becoming a new thing, and they love you enough to cheer you on. The Forward person likes who you have been and is truly excited to see you jump into the future. They remind you to take it easy, but not as a deterrent, just as a caution. Maybe don’t quit your job without savings and a back up. Maybe just set yourself up for success by creating a safety net. Forward people won’t tell you you’re being stupid or ignoring pre-determined rules they/society/God has for you. Forward people accept that change is the crux of life, and they help you start the journey. Sometimes they pack bags and jump off the cliff with you. Sometimes they are actually already in the water, diving down to the depths, but calling back to you that the water’s fine.
I have so much respect for the Historians/Now People and Forward People. I think we all have a little of each inside of us.
Right now the people that comfort me the most are the Forward people. The friends that can see me for who I am now and send me off to greener pastures with a foot up, some snacks, and their telephone number.
Thank you kind souls. Thank you all.